Is It Burnout, Anxiety, or Something Else? The Overlap with ADHD and Neurodivergence
Emily isn’t exactly sure when life started to feel like quicksand.
Maybe it was after her second baby was born.
Maybe it was the job she thought would finally make her feel like she had it together — until it didn’t.
All she knows is that every morning, she wakes up with a to-do list already screaming in her brain.
Every night, she falls asleep feeling like she failed at something she can’t quite name.
She tells herself it’s just stress. Everyone’s tired. Everyone’s overwhelmed.
She tells herself to be grateful…. hustle harder… stop being SO dramatic.
Until one afternoon in the grocery store, halfway down the cereal aisle, she forgets why she’s even there.
She stares at rows of brightly colored boxes, heart pounding, brain fog thick, throat tightening like she might cry for no reason at all.
It’s just burnout, right?
Just anxiety?
Maybe.
Or maybe it’s something her body has been whispering about for years — something that’s not brokenness, but a different way of moving through the world.
When Burnout Isn’t Just Burnout
Burnout is easy to recognize when it's loud: The sleepless nights. The 2 p.m. coffee crashes. The feeling of running on fumes but pretending you're fine.
But what about when burnout starts so early you don’t even notice it anymore? When your baseline is exhaustion? When keeping up with basic life tasks feels like sprinting on a moving sidewalk that’s tilted against you?
That’s when it gets trickier. That’s when burnout stops looking like a bad week and starts looking like your whole identity:
I’m a mess. I’m unreliable. I’m lazy. I’m too much.
But sometimes — especially for women — what looks like “normal” stress is actually a brain trying desperately to function in a world it wasn’t designed for.
And that brain? It might be neurodivergent.
Emily, Again
A few weeks after the grocery store meltdown, Emily sits on the couch in her therapist’s office.
She's trying to explain it all: the anger, the zoning out, the little mistakes at work, the invisible wall of resistance she hits when she tries to start anything important.
It tumbles out in fragments:
I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I just need to get more organized. Maybe I’m just bad at life.
Her therapist doesn’t laugh.
Doesn’t tell her to make another color-coded planner.
Instead, she says, gently:
"Have you ever wondered if your brain might be wired differently?"
Emily blinks. She’s never thought about that. Not really.
She’s always just thought she was... failing.
How Neurodivergence Hides Behind Stress
ADHD — and other forms of neurodivergence — isn’t just about being “distracted.”
It’s about struggling with the core building blocks that hold life together:
Organizing thoughts and tasks
Managing emotions
Regulating energy and focus
Remembering, prioritizing, starting, finishing
Now layer that on top of the invisible expectations society places on women and gender-diverse people: keep the house running, remember every appointment, answer every message, never drop the ball — and do it all with a smile.
What happens when your brain isn’t wired for that kind of constant juggling?
The exhaustion builds.
The anxiety flares.
The self-blame festers.
And from the outside? Life still looks “fine.”
That’s part of why so many people miss it.
In a world that glorifies busyness, over-functioning, and self-sacrifice, neurodivergent struggles blend right in.
If you’re falling apart behind the scenes, the message is almost always: try harder. Get more organized. Be more grateful. Fix yourself.
No wonder it looks like burnout.
No wonder so many people — especially women — reach a full breaking point before anyone even whispers the word neurodivergence.
What you rarely hear is this: Maybe your brain was never broken.
Maybe you were just trying to run a marathon in shoes that don’t fit.
What Help Can Look Like (Even Without a Diagnosis)
You don’t need a formal diagnosis to start helping yourself.
You don’t need to prove you’re struggling “enough.”
You don’t need to earn the right to rest.
If any of Emily’s story feels familiar, here’s where you can start:
Permission to be curious. What if you stopped assuming you're the problem — and started wondering what your brain might actually need?
Externalizing the chaos. Use tools like lists, alarms, or body doubling — not because you’re weak, but because your brain deserves support.
Sensory kindness. Notice what environments soothe you versus drain you. Advocate for your needs without apology.
Self-compassion as a strategy. Shame freezes you. Curiosity and kindness move you forward.
Finding a therapist who gets it. Someone who doesn’t treat your struggles as a moral failure, but as part of your unique wiring.
How Therapy with Me Can Help
At Nicole Mendi Therapy, I work with women who are ready to stop gaslighting themselves and start understanding their brains, their patterns, and their possibilities. You don’t need a diagnosis to be taken seriously. You don’t need perfect words to explain what you're feeling.
You just need a space where all parts of you — messy, exhausted, brilliant — are welcome.
Therapy can be life-changing because it’s not just about venting or getting coping tips — it’s about untangling the deeper patterns that keep you stuck. In therapy, we’ll look at how masking, perfectionism, chronic overwhelm, and emotional burnout have shaped the way you move through the world. We’ll explore the root causes — not just the surface symptoms — and start building a foundation where you don’t have to hustle for worthiness anymore.
Specifically, therapy can help you:
Recognize and name the hidden layers of ADHD, neurodivergence, or trauma that traditional advice often misses.
Learn practical, brain-friendly tools for managing executive dysfunction, emotional overwhelm, and sensory sensitivity.
Rebuild self-trust after years of internalized shame and "why can't I just..." thinking.
Shift from survival mode into sustainable, compassionate rhythms that actually fit your real life.
Create internal safety — so you can stop waiting for external validation and start living on your own terms.
Therapy isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about understanding who you’ve always been — and finally giving yourself permission to live that way, fully and unapologetically.
If You’re Ready
You don’t have to figure all of this out alone.
You don’t have to keep masking your struggles or minimizing your needs.
I offer free consultations so you can explore whether therapy might be the next step — no pressure, no judgment, just space.
You deserve support that actually fits the life you want to live. Let’s start there.
Looking for a therapist in FL who helps women navigate burnout and chronic stress?
Take your first step towards shifting out of survival mode and building a life that works for YOU.
(Florida residents only)
About the author
Nicole Mendizabal is a Hispanic therapist based in Miami, providing online therapy throughout Florida. She specializes in helping women navigate trauma, ADHD, anxiety, autism, and the challenges of perfectionism. Nicole also offers EMDR therapy intensives, creating a focused and supportive space for deep healing and meaningful progress. Weekend and in-person sessions are available for Intensives only.
