Your Nervous System Is Sabotaging Your Growth — Here’s How EMDR (and Brainspotting) Can Help You Reclaim It
TL;DR: Sometimes the part of you holding you back isn’t your mindset—it’s your nervous system reacting to old experiences. EMDR and Brainspotting work directly with the brain and body to loosen the stuck emotional patterns that keep your system on high alert. As the charge around old wounds softens, you gain more choice, more calm, and more ability to move toward the life you want. Healing becomes less about forcing change and more about reclaiming your internal safety.
You know those moments when you genuinely want to grow—set boundaries, rest without guilt, stop saying yes when you mean no—but something inside you freezes, panics, or shuts down? It feels frustrating, confusing, and sometimes even personal… like you’re the problem.
But here’s the truth most people never hear:
It’s not a lack of motivation. It’s not self-sabotage. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you.
And until your body feels safe enough to let you step into something new, growth will always feel like swimming upstream.
This is exactly where EMDR and Brainspotting shine. These modalities help you untangle the deeper patterns that mindset work, journaling, and talk therapy can’t always reach.
Let’s break it down.
When Your Nervous System Is Sabotaging You—What That Really Means
Growth requires expansion. But to an overwhelmed nervous system, expansion can feel like danger.
Maybe you’ve noticed:
Wanting to move forward but feeling totally stuck
Overthinking every decision
Hiding your real feelings to avoid conflict
Shrinking yourself in relationships
Feeling tired no matter how much you rest
Underneath these patterns is a simple biological truth: Your body is choosing the option that feels safest, not the one that aligns with your goals.
Your Body Is Not the Enemy—It’s Doing Its Job
When something reminds your nervous system of a past threat, it doesn’t matter if the current moment is safe. Your body reacts first and thinks later.
This happens because of:
Implicit memory: the body’s emotional and sensory memories that exist outside conscious awareness
Threat sensitivity: the brain’s tendency to assume danger based on past experiences
Incomplete stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn patterns that never fully resolved
Old beliefs still stored in the nervous system: “I’m too much,” “I’ll be abandoned,” “It’s not safe to be seen,” etc.
The result?
You keep reliving emotional patterns your mind logically outgrew—but your body didn’t.
Why Insight Alone Doesn’t Break These Cycles
You can understand your trauma.
You can read the books.
You can journal every day.
You can be the most self-aware person in the world…
…and still feel stuck.
Because:
→ You can’t heal a nervous system pattern with logic.
This is why EMDR and Brainspotting are so powerful—they work directly with the parts of your brain and body that store emotional experiences, not just the parts that think about them.
How EMDR Helps You Process What’s Blocking Your Growth
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps the brain finish processing memories and experiences that got “stuck” during overwhelm. When that stuck energy dissolves, your system stops reacting like the past is happening in the present.
With EMDR, you begin to:
Release old emotional charges
Loosen reactive patterns
Shift long-held beliefs
Respond instead of spiraling
Feel calmer in moments where you used to collapse or shut down
EMDR doesn’t force change—it creates the internal conditions where growth becomes possible.
What Brainspotting Adds (And Why It Goes Even Deeper)
Brainspotting uses your visual field to locate where emotional material is stored in the brain and body. Once that spot is found, your system naturally begins to process what’s been buried or overwhelming.
People often notice:
Slow, deep emotional unwinding
Sensations shifting in the body
A sense of “something moving” internally
More clarity afterward, even without talking much
Brainspotting is especially powerful for patterns that don’t have clear narratives—things you feel but can’t explain.
Four Ways Your Nervous System Blocks Growth (And How These Modalities Help)
Here are the most common protection responses that look like self-sabotage but are actually survival strategies.
1. Freeze — “I can’t move forward.”
Freeze shows up as procrastination, numbness, or feeling foggy.
EMDR and Brainspotting help your system thaw out by completing old fear responses so you no longer shut down the moment things feel big.
2. Fight — “Everything makes me irritable.”
Reactiveness is often a sign that your body is overwhelmed, not angry.
Processing the underlying fear softens the intensity, making room for calm, grounded responses.
3. Fawn — “I abandon myself to stay safe.”
People-pleasing isn’t a personality trait—it’s a protective reflex.
Once the nervous system feels safe, the urge to overgive or overaccommodate naturally decreases.
4. Flight — “If I stop moving, I’ll lose control.”
Overworking is sometimes a disguised trauma response.
When your system settles, stillness becomes less scary and rest becomes accessible.
What EMDR Actually Feels Like During Growth Work
EMDR doesn’t throw you into deep trauma work right away. It starts with building safety.
You and your therapist strengthen grounding skills, explore where your system gets overwhelmed, and create internal resources. This part feels supportive—like laying the foundation for a more regulated internal world.
Then, when you’re ready, EMDR helps target the moments or beliefs that keep holding you back:
The memory behind your fear of disappointing people
The old wound beneath your perfectionism
The moment you learned that rest wasn’t safe
The relational injuries that shaped how small you make yourself
As you reprocess, emotions soften, clarity emerges, and the weight your body carried starts to lift.
What Brainspotting Feels Like When You’re Stuck in Survival Mode
Brainspotting feels quieter and more internal.
You find a “brainspot” in your visual field—where your body subtly reacts. Your system then starts processing without needing to talk or analyze.
During a session, clients often experience:
A sense of sinking into themselves
Body sensations shifting or releasing
Emotions rising and moving through
A feeling of being deeply connected to their inner world
Unexpected clarity about things that once felt confusing
Brainspotting helps free emotional material that never made it into language.
The Shifts You Notice When Your Nervous System Stops Fighting You
Once EMDR and Brainspotting begin softening the old patterns, growth doesn’t require force—it becomes natural.
Many people describe:
A calmer internal world
Less reactivity and more choice
The ability to say no without guilt
Feeling safer in relationships
Lower anxiety in daily life
More tolerance for discomfort (the cornerstone of real growth)
A sense of “I can finally breathe”
A quieter inner critic
Feeling more like themselves
You don’t become a different person—you become the version of you who isn’t bracing all the time.
How to Know If You’re a Good Fit for These Modalities
You may be ready for EMDR or Brainspotting if:
You feel stuck despite understanding your patterns
You shut down, freeze, or panic when trying to make changes
You overthink everything
You carry emotional heaviness or chronic tension
You’re tired of repeating the same reactions
You want change that feels embodied, not performative
You’re craving a deeper kind of healing—not just coping skills
If your nervous system feels like the thing holding you back, these modalities can create real momentum.
What Life Feels Like When Your Nervous System Comes Back Online
Imagine waking up and feeling:
more grounded than overwhelmed
more curious than scared
more spacious than pressured
more connected than reactive
Growth becomes less about forcing yourself forward and more about naturally expanding into who you’ve always been.
When your nervous system stops bracing, everything starts to flow.
Final Encouragement
You’re not stuck because you’re weak.
You’re stuck because your body is still trying to protect you the only way it knows how.
EMDR and Brainspotting help update that protection system so it stops fighting your present and starts supporting your future.
You're not broken—you’re braced. And you can unlearn that.
Looking for a therapist in Florida who specializes in EMDR and Brainspotting?
Take your first step towards breaking old patterns and reclaiming growth that once felt out of reach.
(Florida residents only)
About the author
Nicole Mendizabal, LMFT is a licensed therapist with over 5 years of experience supporting clients in Miami, FL. She specializes in ADHD, AuDHD, Autism, anxiety, and trauma. Using EMDR, Brainspotting, ACT, and Polyvagal- and IFS-informed approaches, Nicole helps clients move beyond shame and people-pleasing, regulate their nervous systems, and build authentic relationships. Her work supports clients in living with more confidence and in alignment with what they truly want, rather than what they feel they “should” do. At Nicole Mendi Therapy, she provides compassionate, expert care across Florida, with in-person sessions available for intensives only.
