Do I Have ADHD or Am I Just Burnt Out?
You used to be able to hold it all together. You managed the calendar, the tasks, the text replies. You were the reliable one. But now? You’re overwhelmed all the time. You can’t focus. You start things and forget what you were even doing halfway through. You’re exhausted—but you also feel like you’ve lost parts of yourself you used to recognize.
And the question that keeps echoing in your head is: Am I just burnt out… or is this something else?
For many women, especially those who’ve been high-achieving, sensitive, and emotionally attuned their whole lives, this question can feel deeply confusing—and deeply personal. Let’s break down what’s really going on beneath that constant overwhelm.
ADHD vs. Burnout: Why They Can Look So Similar
On the surface, ADHD and burnout share a lot of the same symptoms:
Trouble focusing or completing tasks
Feeling mentally foggy or emotionally drained
Losing track of time or struggling to plan ahead
Overreacting or shutting down emotionally
A sense of being constantly behind, no matter how hard you try
It’s no wonder so many women start to wonder which one they’re dealing with.
Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress—often tied to work, caregiving, or chronic over-responsibility.
ADHD, on the other hand, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects executive function: your ability to plan, prioritize, regulate energy, and manage emotions.
But here’s where it gets tricky: many women with undiagnosed ADHD are constantly pushing themselves to function in ways that aren’t natural for their brains. Over time, this leads to ADHD burnout—a state of total shutdown from years of masking, overcompensating, and pushing through.
So what feels like burnout could actually be ADHD underneath. Or both.
Signs You Might Be Dealing with ADHD (Not Just Burnout)
If you’ve always felt like you were working twice as hard just to keep up—and still falling short—ADHD might be part of the story. Here are some signs that point in that direction:
Time has always felt slippery. No matter how many reminders you set, you’re often running late, losing track of time, or surprised by how long things take.
You’ve never done well with boring tasks. Even if the stakes are high, it’s nearly impossible to start something unless you’re interested in it—or terrified of the consequences.
Your emotions feel huge and fast. You’re deeply affected by tone, rejection, or perceived criticism, and it takes hours to recover.
Your brain feels inconsistent. One day you can get ten things done in two hours. The next day, making a phone call feels impossible.
You’ve been told you’re “too sensitive,” “too much,” or “not living up to your potential.”
This isn’t new. You’ve felt this way for as long as you can remember—school, jobs, relationships. It’s just getting harder to manage now.
These signs often get missed in women, especially those who excelled in school, learned to mask, or grew up people-pleasing to survive. Burnout might be what finally brings everything to the surface—but the patterns have likely been there for years.
Signs You’re Experiencing Burnout (Without ADHD)
Burnout can happen to anyone. It’s a normal response to abnormal demands—especially when you’ve been holding it together for too long. Here are some signs it’s burnout:
You used to function more easily. The mental fog and motivation dip feel recent or tied to a specific life stressor.
You’ve been “on” for too long. You’ve taken care of everyone else and ignored your needs for months—or years.
You feel numb, not just tired. You’re going through the motions but feel detached or disinterested in things you used to care about.
You’re sleeping more but still exhausted. Rest doesn’t feel restorative.
You’re emotionally flat—or everything makes you cry. You’re either checked out or hypersensitive, and it’s hard to bounce back.
If this feels like a response to recent circumstances more than a lifelong pattern, you might be dealing with burnout on its own.
What If It’s Both? (Hint: It Often Is)
This is where many of my clients land. Burnout and ADHD aren’t mutually exclusive—and in fact, they often feed into each other.
If you’ve been living with undiagnosed or unsupported ADHD, it makes sense that your system would eventually crash. Years of overcompensating, masking, and pushing through can leave you emotionally exhausted and disconnected from yourself.
This is especially true if trauma is part of your story. Many women with ADHD also have a history of trauma—whether it’s:
→ growing up in a home where they had to be the “easy” child,
→ enduring emotional invalidation,
→ or simply feeling like they were “too much” for the people around them.
That trauma can shape your nervous system to live in survival mode. It adds another layer to the burnout, and makes it even harder to tell what’s at the root of your struggle.
How Therapy Can Help You Untangle It All
If you’re feeling unsure about what’s really going on, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Therapy can offer a supportive, non-judgmental space to explore your symptoms, patterns, and history with more clarity.
This isn’t about labeling—it’s about understanding how your brain and body are wired, and what kind of support will actually help you feel better.
The Approaches That Make a Difference
When ADHD, trauma, and burnout overlap, you need more than surface-level coping tools. Here’s how therapy can actually help:
Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy
Instead of trying to force you into systems that don’t work for your brain, we build strategies that do—with compassion and without shame. This often includes:
Naming and unpacking internalized beliefs like “I’m lazy” or “I should be able to do this”
Creating ADHD-friendly tools for planning, motivation, and emotional regulation
Exploring masking, people-pleasing, and the exhaustion that comes from hiding your true self
Whether you have a formal diagnosis or just suspect ADHD, therapy can help you stop blaming yourself and start understanding your needs.
Trauma-Informed Therapy
If you’ve spent years in survival mode—over-functioning, shutting down, walking on eggshells—trauma therapy helps you gently work through the why. Together, we’ll:
Identify patterns rooted in old experiences (like people-pleasing or perfectionism)
Learn to regulate your nervous system in ways that actually feel doable
Rebuild internal safety so you can rest and connect without guilt
This approach helps reduce emotional reactivity, chronic overwhelm, and shame-based thinking.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
If your burnout feels tangled up in painful beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I have to earn rest,” EMDR helps you reprocess the root of those messages. It’s especially helpful for:
Unpacking childhood wounds that still drive perfectionism or fear of failure
Releasing shame around struggle, mistakes, or “not being enough”
Calming the nervous system’s fight/flight response to everyday stress
EMDR is a powerful way to shift stuck emotional patterns—without reliving every detail.
Need Support Sooner? Therapy Intensives May Help
When you’re in crisis or totally burnt out, weekly therapy might feel too slow. A therapy intensive gives you focused time and space to go deep—without the pressure of squeezing everything into 50 minutes.
What It Is
A therapy intensive is a structured half-day or full-day session tailored to your needs. It includes:
A deep-dive into one area of struggle (ADHD burnout, trauma patterns, emotional shutdown, etc.)
Space to process, reflect, and regulate without rushing
A follow-up plan with tools to integrate what you’ve uncovered
Why It Helps
You might benefit from an intensive if:
You’re emotionally maxed out and need support now—not months from now
You want faster traction or feel stuck in regular therapy
You’re navigating a big shift (career, grief, relationship, identity) and want grounded clarity
I offer EMDR-focused intensives for women across Florida—designed to help you find relief, insight, and momentum in a safe, supportive space.
Learn more about EMDR intensives here!
You’re Not Lazy. You’re Not Broken.
If you’ve read this far, I want you to know: there’s a reason you’re struggling. You’re not imagining it. You’re not failing at life. Whether it’s ADHD, burnout, trauma, or a mix of all three—what you’re going through makes sense. And it can get better.
With the right support, you can feel more grounded in your body, more connected to your strengths, and more at peace with who you are.
If you’re tired of second-guessing your symptoms and ready to start healing for real, I’d love to support you.
Looking for a therapist in Miami, FL who specializes in helping women navigate ADHD & burnout?
Take your first step towards a therapy experience that meets you where you are.
(Florida residents only)
Do you feel isolated in your neurodivergent experience and long for a space where you don’t have to explain yourself?
My virtual group for AuDHD adults in their 20s and 30s is designed to help you unmask, heal, and belong.
About the author
Nicole Mendizabal is a Hispanic therapist based in Miami, providing online therapy throughout Florida. She specializes in helping women navigate trauma, ADHD, anxiety, autism, and the challenges of perfectionism. Nicole also offers EMDR therapy intensives, creating a focused and supportive space for deep healing and meaningful progress. Weekend and in-person sessions are available for Intensives only.
