“I Thought I Was Just Sensitive”: The Overlap Between Trauma and Neurodivergence
Have you ever been told you’re “too sensitive”?
Maybe you’ve struggled to hold it together in social situations, felt totally overwhelmed by everyday demands, or needed more downtime than your friends. You may have spent years believing that something was wrong with you—without realizing that what you were experiencing could be signs of trauma, neurodivergence, or both.
If you’ve been silently wondering why life feels so much harder for you, you’re not alone. Many women internalize their struggles as personal failures, when in reality, their nervous system is working overtime to protect them. This blog unpacks the overlap between trauma and neurodivergence (like ADHD or autism), how to tell the difference, and why working with a therapist who understands both can be a game-changer.
You’re Not “Too Much”—You’re Responding to a Lot
Growing up, you might have been called dramatic, sensitive, or difficult. And over time, you may have started to believe it. But what if the real issue wasn’t that you were too emotional—but that no one ever stopped to ask why?
Women are often socialized to suppress their needs, hide their distress, and put others’ comfort first. That pressure to perform—to mask—can start early and run deep. If you’re also neurodivergent or have a trauma history (or both), you’ve likely been living in survival mode for years.
You might’ve thought:
“Why can’t I handle things like other people do?”
“Why do I get so overstimulated or anxious over small things?”
“Why do I keep shutting down or overreacting and then feel ashamed?”
It’s not that you’re broken. It’s that you’ve been wired for protection—through either developmental trauma, a neurodivergent brain, or both. And when the world doesn’t make space for that, it’s easy to turn the blame inward.
Shared Symptoms Between Trauma and Neurodivergence
Here’s where things can get confusing: trauma and neurodivergence often show up in very similar ways. If you’ve ever wondered whether your struggles are a result of past trauma or the way your brain works—you’re asking the right question. The truth is, it might be both.
Here are some overlapping experiences:
Sensory overload
If bright lights, loud sounds, or strong smells feel physically painful or overwhelming, this could stem from neurodivergent sensory sensitivity or a hypervigilant trauma response. Either way, your nervous system is sounding the alarm that something isn’t safe.Emotional reactivity
Quick shifts in mood, intense feelings, or difficulty self-soothing can show up in both trauma and ADHD/autism. In trauma, this often comes from nervous system dysregulation. In neurodivergence, it may show up as rejection sensitivity or emotional intensity.Trouble focusing or staying present
Trauma can cause dissociation, brain fog, or mental shutdown. ADHD can lead to inattention, distractibility, or spacing out. Both can make daily tasks feel impossible, and both can lead to frustration, shame, or self-doubt.People-pleasing or masking
Fawning (a trauma response) and masking (common in neurodivergence) can look nearly identical. In both cases, you override your own needs to stay safe or accepted. This can lead to chronic burnout and loss of identity over time.Social fatigue or burnout
Whether it’s scanning for danger (trauma) or overanalyzing social cues to “fit in” (autism), social interactions can feel draining. If you feel like you need days to recover from one outing, this could be a nervous system issue—not social laziness.Emotional shutdown or numbness
Trauma may lead to freeze responses or emotional numbing. Neurodivergent shutdown can look similar—especially after overstimulation or overwhelm. In both, your system is trying to conserve energy and regain control.
Each of these symptoms is your body’s attempt to protect you.
And when you live with both trauma and neurodivergence, the signals can amplify each other—making it hard to know where one ends and the other begins.
How Do You Know What’s What?
Many of my clients come into therapy asking, “Do I have ADHD, or is this all from trauma?” Or, “What if I’m autistic and didn’t know?”
These are valid questions—but they don’t always have black-and-white answers. Trauma can mimic neurodivergent traits. Neurodivergence can make you more vulnerable to trauma. And often, one masks the other for years.
So, how do you start to tell the difference?
Look at your timeline. If you’ve had certain traits (like sensory sensitivity or difficulty focusing) since childhood, neurodivergence might be part of the picture.
Notice what makes symptoms better or worse. Trauma responses often flare around specific triggers or environments, whereas neurodivergent traits are more consistent across time.
Pay attention to how your system responds to safety. When you feel safe, do your symptoms ease? Or do they still linger? Trauma tends to soften when healing begins. Neurodivergence may not go away—but it can become easier to manage with the right support.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t to slap on a label. It’s to better understand your nervous system so you can care for it in a way that actually works.
Why You Need a Therapist Who Specializes in Both
You shouldn’t have to explain what sensory overload is to your therapist. You shouldn’t be pathologized for needing structure and softness, or for bringing multiple truths into the room.
Many traditional therapy models focus on trauma without recognizing neurodivergence—or vice versa. But if you’re navigating both, you deserve support that holds the full picture.
When you work with a therapist who specializes in trauma and neurodivergence:
You get space to unmask without shame.
Your shutdowns, meltdowns, and overwhelm aren’t judged—they’re understood.
EMDR or IFS can help you process trauma without bypassing the needs of your nervous system.
You can explore identity and self-trust, not just symptom reduction.
You’re not expected to “cope better”—you’re supported in healing deeper.
This kind of therapy isn’t just about managing—it’s about reclaiming who you are underneath the trauma, the masking, and the burnout.
What Healing Can Look Like
When you’re finally in a space that sees the full you—trauma, neurodivergence, sensitivity, strength—you begin to soften. Not because you’re “fixed,” but because you’re no longer fighting yourself.
→ You stop apologizing for your needs.
→ You build routines and tools that actually work for your brain.
→ You connect with the parts of you that were shut down just to survive.
→ You begin to trust that your sensitivity was never a flaw—it was always a form of wisdom.
You’re Not Too Sensitive—You’re Finally Listening to Yourself
If you’ve spent years wondering why everything feels so loud, so hard, or so emotionally overwhelming, it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because your nervous system has been asking for support in a world that hasn’t always known how to give it.
You deserve therapy that doesn’t force you into either/or boxes—but instead honors the and.
I specialize in trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming therapy for women navigating anxiety, ADHD, and past wounds that still feel present. If you’re ready to feel more understood and less alone, I’d love to support you.
Looking for a therapist in Miami, FL who specializes in both trauma and neurodivergence?
Take your first step towards the kind of therapy that helps you feel truly seen, not just treated.
(Florida residents only)
Do you feel isolated in your neurodivergent experience and long for a space where you don’t have to explain yourself?
My virtual group for AuDHD adults in their 20s and 30s is designed to help you unmask, heal, and belong.
About the author
Nicole Mendizabal is a Hispanic therapist based in Miami, providing online therapy throughout Florida. She specializes in helping women navigate trauma, ADHD, anxiety, autism, and the challenges of perfectionism. Nicole also offers EMDR therapy intensives, creating a focused and supportive space for deep healing and meaningful progress. Weekend and in-person sessions are available for Intensives only.
